How to Support Your Family After A Death Incident?

Knowing what to say or do when someone close is mourning following a loss can be challenging. Intense and painful emotions like melancholy, resentment, remorse, and profound grief torment the bereaved. Since the severe pain and challenging emotions may make individuals uncomfortable about giving help, the victims frequently feel alienated and alone in their mourning.

It is essential to understand that most of his acquaintances had no intentions of being unhelpful, but it was their natural reaction. Often people do not know how to support a family after death. In this guide, you can find solutions to this issue.

1. Things You Should Do

You must shoulder these duties if you want to help a family member pass steadily through the harsh times:

• Assure Them of Your Presence: Many hesitate to reach out, thinking they might repeatedly remind the family members of the tragic event while discussing the issue. However, you must realise that whether you initiate conversations regarding the topic or not, the wounds stay fresh for some time. Thus, do not hold back from expressing sympathy and proving that you are available for them. 

• Be Quick to Assess How They Feel: As we mentioned earlier, reaching out is crucial, but that may only be appreciated occasionally. If the family member you approach does not recognise the support, ensure to back off quickly. You must realise that each person has their way of dealing with situations, and it is essential to acknowledge those, especially during strenuous conditions. But thinking this in the first place and not wishing to start a conversation will never establish the impression in their mind that you care for them. 

• Make Sure that You Are All Ears: It is alright not to have an on-spot solution ready to cure the woes. Because of that reason, do not refrain from hearing about the hardships presently experienced by your family member. Basically, you must understand that problem-solving powers are often not expected from everyone. On the contrary, people only wish to express themselves and share honest feelings with someone they genuinely trust. If they choose you for that purpose, give them your valuable time. 

• Stay Prepared for the Worst Situations: Often not discussed, this tip will likely help you figure out how to support a family after death. You can be a crucial addition to someone’s phone contacts’ ‘favourites’ list. For this, you both must share a healthy relationship, and the person must allow an open communication channel. This means that when the person isolates themselves, they must let you know about their active status. At such times you must show perseverance to provide the necessary support. 

• Pick Your Words Sensibly: Most people fail here and prefer not to interfere much when their close people go through a challenging phase. You should not stress yourself finding a fancy synonym for ‘death’ just because you think acting otherwise will not reignite the emotions. People appreciate directness as they can rely on only those who represent their true selves. Remember that when you try to be pretentious, it often shows up and further upsets the distressed individual.

2. Things You Should Avoid

Now that you have noted the requisite measures, adopting these standard precautions will ensure you do not unwittingly cause further hurt:

• Keep Away From Diminishing Their Misery: What seems very hurtful for them may not seem that impactful to you. Suppose one of your family members is mourning the loss of their friend’s father. Maybe they do not know that friend for too long, or they have not spent much time together. Still, if he feels grieving for the loss, acknowledge his sincere feelings and do not pass comments or your personal opinion.

• Avoid Searching for Positivity: Instead of trying to fix things by pointing out ‘What could have gone worse’, acknowledge the person’s pain. Allow them to cry and express their grief. This also indirectly helps you assess your inner understanding capacity, which otherwise remains undiscovered for many throughout their lives. It would help if you always kept this in the back of your mind that you want to support the family and not always be the source of practical solutions. 

• Avoid Being too Nosy: Several family members may feel offended when you attempt to show concern in harsh situations. Here you need to be sensible and understand that critical thinking capacity almost always diminishes when a person goes through pain. Hence, even if you wish to assure concrete assistance, do not poke or interfere if they do not want you to help them.  

• Steer Clear From Reminding the Affected People About the Dead Person: Although ensuring this seems very simple, you can sometimes carelessly tag a person while sharing photos on social media. While doing so, if those memories comprise impressions of the deceased person it becomes a cause of concern. Eventually, if you really need to send something that may be depressing, then alert them beforehand. You can easily ensure this by leaving text messages like ‘I think you need to see this, but I advise you to open the file during some time when you feel well’.You are probably not the immoral person you fear you will be if you have read this. It is very normal to feel anxious about saying and doing the proper thing. But be confident in your noble intentions to assist. Be as considerate as you can and either ask the family directly or make an effort to determine what they require. Getting these things right will automatically cut down your concerns regarding how to support a family after death.